Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased by tales, so is the other. - Francis Bacon
Okay, without trying to sound morbid; let’s imagine today was your last day on earth. Just imagine how you would feel if you knew for certain you only had the next 24 hours to tell friends and family your genuine thoughts and feelings about them. What would you say to them? Like most of us I imagine if you were 100% sure you would never see your friends and acquaintances again, you would let them know how much some of them mean to you and it’d be clear in your mind those who are superfluous. And I’m sure if this was your final day, those negative souls in the workplace or in the street who blight other people’s lives on a daily basis with their unfriendly characteristics may seem different to you in your last moments… you might even end up feeling sorry for them…or more than likely you’d tell them some home truths!
Throughout this physical ‘stopgap’ we’re on most of us tend to take those around us and our surroundings for granted and that’s just a natural part of human behaviour of course. But I must say that I’ve found throughout my years of working so closely with the public that the people I’ve met who cherish their health; friends and family above financial gain are always happier and generally more contented than those who are chasing the dollar constantly. And it seems that if we can stop for a moment and smell the roses - for want of a better cliché – with the belief that this could be the last day of our physical existence, we might all be able to say those words that are usually left unsaid until it’s too late. During readings I’ve genuinely lost count of the times I’ve heard people say “I wish I’d told her how much I loved her.” Or “I can’t stop thinking about the time I hurt his feelings.” These are the usual kind of sentences I hear from loved ones who have lost someone close and are now feeling deep regrets. This of course is why many of the living turn to mediums and psychics in the first place, simply to see some evidence that the person who has left this world is still around and that the continuation of their spirit knows how the person left behind feels. Many times a sitting with a medium is simply a grief counselling session under a different guise.
I’ll admit that I’ve felt the same sense of despair many times after the physical death of my loved ones too and have also felt lonely and helpless so I understand completely.
And no matter how many times any of us sit alone and attempt to communicate and tell the deceased person how much we love them, I find there is usually still no closure for most of us. But recently I’ve learned through spiritual guidance that there may never be an answer in this life for some of us. Of course that would seem so cruel and unfair but sadly, this physical world we live in isn’t easy for most people and grief, loss and sadness is as natural a part of this episode in our existence as love, laughter and happiness are. I firmly believe that old adage “If it doesn’t kill you it’ll make you stronger” is true. There are very few people in this world who haven’t felt loss of some kind but thankfully most of us continue to function because there are usually living souls in this life who need us around. Always remember that no matter how lonely and isolated a person feels in this life there is always somebody somewhere who will be upset if they pass away.
So, on a cheerier note, let’s get back to your last day on earth!
But first let me tell you a wee story which I think is quite relevant: It began when I was in my early 20’s and lived in a bohemian area of Glasgow’s west end in an old converted Victorian terrace in a single room which was furnished with a bed, a chair, a wee cooker, a fridge and a kettle, I spent many days and nights there, pondering my future and trying desperately to stop the resurgence of my childhood visions of spirits and paranormal phenomena reoccurring. From that wee bed-sit window I used to sit and write on an old fashioned typewriter in between periods of gazing blankly through the glass, with a cup of coffee in my hand as I watched the world go by outside the confines of that room. I’d gaze at all the strange and colourful characters walking by and sometimes I’d create stories about their lives. I’d observe the daily routines of the drug dealers, the prostitutes, the alcoholics, and the students who temporarily lived in the area. But I remember one soul stood out to me; I’d see this guy passing by every day and the thing that surprised me was that no matter the weather, rain hail or snow, (of which there is a lot of in
As time went on I slowly began to accept the resurgence of my sensitivity and learned to live with the dead around me and I imagine, like most of those who passed the window, before long I moved away from that area and my time there became a distant memory.
But one day many years later, I was visiting
Not wishing to seem too nosey, I stood a short distance away and began browsing the many strange and wonderful books on the shelves. I didn’t want to listen to the conversation but… well, it was a small shop and I just couldn’t help overhearing some snippets of what he was saying to the couple; Okay, I was being a nosey git! :-) But what I heard sthat day in the shop surprised me and I still remember it vividly:
“What I do now is just live life as if every day was my last… as if I might not wake up… I say hello to people I don’t even know, they must think I’m mad but life’s too short man…I’m telling you, just got to grab life and try and make it as good as you can for everybody who crosses your path… I’ve had this cancer for nearly 12 years now and well, I’m still here… It’s spread now, yeah… a few months left they say… If that’s the way God planned then I’ve had an extra 11 and a half years… I'm not scared”
A deep feeling of shock and sadness enshrouded me when I overheard the latter part of his conversation and at that moment I felt like turning around and speaking to him there and then but being a typical repressed Scottish alpha male, I turned and walked out of the shop! “12 years… cancer.” That meant that this guy had life threatening cancer when I used to see him walk by every day all those years before!
After leaving the shop I began to think how trivial my ‘problems’ that day with late trains and grumpy taxi drivers etc were. And here was this complete stranger, a guy who had, unknown to him, been a part of my younger memories, a guy who gave off nothing but feelings of peace and happiness and he was dying! I was shocked.
Halfway down the street, I stopped and decided there and then to turn around and head back to the shop and say something…anything. I hummed and hawed for a few minutes and then turned and began to make my way back along the street. As I opened the door of the shop there was no sign of the guy or the couple inside so I turned to the girl behind the counter and asked her if she knew where they’d gone but she didn’t know.
I guess the 3 of them could have walked anywhere through the warren like back alleys and streets of the ancient busy city. So, disappointed, I decided to go for a quick beer in a pub before I headed for my train home. As I ordered my pint an old man who was sitting at the bar turned and said hello. I nodded back and then he said the strangest thing to me:
‘Do you want to know the meaning of life son?’ He asked as he drained his glass dry.
‘I would love to.’ I replied hesitantly.
You have to live life as if it’s your last day: Hug your mammy, your daddy, your wife, your kids and pals. If you’ve got money in your pocket and see something they’d like just bloody buy them it. And when you’re my age you’ll have less regrets when they’ve all gone, believe me. Don't regret a thing!”
“I’ll remember that mate.” I replied.
“As I said don’t regret anything son…buy me a pint eh? Ye won’t regret that.”
Needless to say I bought the old chancer a pint!
As I travelled back home on the train later that afternoon my mind drifted to the young guy who was terminal. I could still feel the calming spiritual energy from him as I'm sure he came to terms with his own mortality in this life. I felt a sense of regret at not talking to him when I had the chance. “Why do I always do the wrong thing?” I asked myself. I also thought about the hectic day I’d had, how stressed I’d been a few hours before and how insignificant it all was in the scheme of life… and it made me feel small.
I smiled to myself when I thought about that old bloke in the pub and his nerve. But his words began to make me think about my own family, friends, and in particular my own friends and family and all the times I’d recently been too busy to pop in and visit them. I just never seemed to have any time to sit with ppeople I cared for these days.
“That’s it I’m going to get off this train and go see my mother and I’ll stay for a good few hours. Life’s too short. Then I'll phone my friends and meet up.” I told myself.
As I stepped off the train and made my way from the station my phone rang and someone somewhere just had to see me urgently and it just couldn’t wait.
“I’ll pop in and see her tomorrow instead. I’ll make some time and… I’ll be able to stay even longer. I guess my friends will be busy anyway.” I convinced myself.
Well, guess what folks? “Tomorrow” never came and as usual life and work seemed to take precedence again and my visits were fleeting ones that occurred in between work. I never did spend those ‘good few hours’ until I sat by her hospital bed in silence some months later watching and waiting for her to pass away. One of my friends has gone now too and as time marches on there is no chance to revisit yesterday. So, now when I hear myself say “I’ll leave it until tomorrow” I try my hardest to remind myself that that day may never come and I try to do it now. If we can live this life as if this was our last chance with our loved ones then I'm sure we'd all enjoy the little things so much more and ignore all the c**p that eats away at us. I manage most of the time now but I’m still learning.
As I sit here writing this, my mind occasionally drifts back to the days of my youth and I think of the many people who have entered my life in one way or another and are now no longer with us in this physical world. Yet again, I have a sense of regret at not spending more time with some of them. Young beings, middle aged beings, old beings… all of them now existing in an invisible realm to most – a place that is so near and yet so far. A place that’s actually only a few heartbeats or breaths away, yet beyond the physical touch for us left behind. All of those people are engrained in the memories of those who met them on this journey we call life. I can recall all of those individual personalities and idiosyncrasies that, if cynics were to be believed, simply ceased to be at the moment of physical death. And although those very same cynics may never get the chance to feel the presence of their own deceased loved ones in visitation, hopefully one day their eyes will be opened to the genuine truth that some part of their own human consciousness continues after the body has stopped.
So, you might feel silly but go hug your loved ones and cherish those around you, because as we all know, this world is in a constant state of transition and one day you might be filled with regret. So, although I’m no guru, I believe that if we stopped to look at every living thing in this world and realised how deeply connected we all are we would try and savour each and every moment throughout this difficult journey in the company of those we love.
There is only this moment and that moment is here and now and the unwritten future can be altered by our actions.
So, welcome to our last day.
Tom :-)
